Rabbi Nico here.
I was reading Proverbs 25 today and I came across this:
“Do not go hastily to court; For what will you do in the end, When your neighbor has put you to shame? Debate your case with your neighbor, And do not disclose the secret to another; Lest he who hears it expose your shame, And your reputation be ruined.”
What’s funny about this is that we see this repeated in Matthew 18:15-17.
“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.”
We see a similar idea in 1 Corinthians 6:1-3.
“When one of you has a grievance against another, does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints? Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases? Do you not know that we are to judge angels? How much more, then, matters pertaining to this life! “
Now, this is an interesting idea for a couple of reasons.
First, we must be aware that some have used this idea as a means to stifle all contentions that one might have with religious leaders. There have been cases where religious leaders have taught that it is an absolute sin for Believers to turn to secular courts for relief in a matter between other congregational members or with congregational leadership, no matter what the circumstances. This has, at times, led to the congregational leaders or congregational members getting away with some fairly atrocious crimes, crimes that would have been settled fairly in anything resembling a fair and just court.
There have also been cases of religious leaders intimidating people and thus intentionally making it difficult for them to go through the process of Matthew 18. Where they meet to discuss the matter that the offended party wishes to talk about, and the religious leader immediately makes the meeting a hostile one by shouting, throwing accusations, and otherwise biting back in exceedingly cruel ways.
In circumstances like that, outside authorities definitely needed to be called in to handle the matter, because leadership is held to a higher standard.
While 1 Timothy 5:17 says, “Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching,” and 1 Timothy 5:19 says, “Do not receive an accusation against an elder except from two or three witnesses,” we must also know that 1 Timothy 5:20 says, “Those who are sinning rebuke in the presence of all, that the rest also may fear.” If a religious leader abuses their position, cause harm to others, and this has been confirmed by the mouths of two or three witnesses, then this must NOT be kept a secret.
Let us be clear that the abuse needs to be something that actually violates Biblical principles, and it must be clearly defined as such. You must be prepared to present chapter and verse to describe the transgression committed, and it cannot be some vague illusion that might, if you squint at it hard enough, mean what you want it to mean. One may not bring before the congregation such accusations as, “This person’s sermons are boring,” or “This person votes for a political party with which I disagree,” or “This person uses medicine that I think is harmful,” or even, “This person does not always wear a kippah when they pray.” It must be a Biblical offense that is clearly and unequivocally detailed in the Scriptures, and it cannot be something that the person has since repented of and shown fruits of that repentance.
Galatians 6:1 says, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.”
Let us be clear that if the person who has committed offense or perceived offense is not a leader, then the need for grace and discretion is even greater, and Matthew 18 must be followed even more closely.
So, let’s dial it back a bit to what the Proverb was actually talking about. In our culture, people rush to file lawsuits against people for various offenses. Sometimes those offenses are extreme things like car accidents or other forms of injury. Other times people sue each other over defamation of character. While many of these lawsuits are warranted, a great many more are frivolous.
I think when something happens that might provide opportunity for a lawsuit, we should stop and ask ourselves these questions:
1. Can this be settled without involving the secular courts?
2. Is this offense truly causing harm, or has it caused harm? How do I know this? Am I certain?
3. Could this, instead, be settled by calling for a Beit Din?
A Beit Din is a “House of Judges.” Basically, it is a gathering of rabbis (usually three rabbis) who are specially trained to handle dispute resolution in a Biblical manner. They judge the worthiness of congregational leaders, they settle matters between those who could not settle such matters themselves, and they work toward reconciliation.
It should be understood, though, that a Beit Din is an extreme step, and should only be called for if absolutely necessary.
Let us not be hasty to bring in higher authorities to judge over matters. Let us strive instead to settle matters between ourselves. We’ll find that if we can settle matters between ourselves, then it will be far less costly to us, and I mean costly in terms of time, effort, and, yes, money. Lawsuits can prove expensive and wasteful. So, let us be wise and reasonable with one another.